Angel's Guide to writing!

    Listen here you little turds on sticks,
    I am here to teach you the proper way to write. Whether it's gay Fanfiction, some kind of fricked up diary or whatever goes through your brain.
    FIRST THINGS FIRST
                DEFIANTLY IS NOT DEFINITELY
    I'm not sure about you miserable maggots realize this, but....
   Defiantly isn't the proper word. Now, some of you know this, bust most of you fail to process that defiantly definitely does NOT mean definitely.
Defiantly- adjective. Show defiance(open resistance, bold disobedience.)
Right: She was in a defiant mood.
Wrong: She defiantly knew she was in love.
   Definitely- adverb.  Without doubt
I have never really read a story where(when they don't mix it up with defiantly) the author misused the word "definitely".
Right: She was definitely in love.
Wrong: how the frick-frack do you even use this word incorrectly
                                  AHEM
FOR READER INSERTS
YOUR WRITING A FriCKINg //ENTERTAINING\\sTORY NOT A SHITTY MAD LIBS STORY.
"You decided to wear a (f/c), (length) dress that went well with your (s/t) skin tone. '(Y/n) we're gonna be late!' Your best friend, (f/n), shouted.
While in the car, you made (f/n) play (f/s) by (f/b), your favorite song.
Timeskiporwhateverthefuck
He stared into your (e/c) orbs, moving a lock of (h/c) (h/l) hair out of your face."
NO. FRICKING. WAY. YOU. FRICKING. DOOFUS.
"You decided to wear a red dress[YOU ARE THE AUTHOR DONT BE AFRAID TO TAKE CONTROL BBY]. "(Y/n) [yes hello name is allowed please don't make up name or else it would be a FC insert thing]we're gonna be late!' Your best friend, Emma[MAKE UP A NAME, AUTHOR-CHAN. I HAVE NO CREATIVIty to do SO], shouted.
While in the car, you made Emma your favorite song.[We don't need to know the name of the song. My favorite song isn't even by my favorite band so who gives a crap, right?]
Timeskiporwhateverthefuck
He stared into your eyes, [Yes we know what color our eyes/our FCs eyes are. Also, it's not too horrible, but does a published book ever actually say "orbs" instead of "eyes"? I'd really like to know.]moving a lock of hair out of your face.[the hair part is, while unneeded, almost too common.]"
           NOW THE DIFFERENCES IN WORDS.
You're- you freaking are
Your- belongs to yo ass. Eyes, item, idgaf
They're- they freaking are
Their- they're shit
Theyr- not a thing dumbface
Too- howthedogetoiexplainthis to a higher degree than desirable, some other meaning you can look up
Two- a number.
To- expressing some kind of point or location or whatever tf
Senpai- someone higher rank than you(please don't use this in a fanfic)
Kohai- someone Lower rank than you(no using either unless you're good at writing.)
       THIS PROBABLY ISNT JUST ABOUT WRITING BUT I THINK IF A WEBSIte mADE FOR AGES 7+ HAS PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FC AND OC YOU SHOULD KNOW IT TOO
FAN CHARACTER
That's what most of you guys made. Hetalia OC? Not an OC. Homestuck OC? Not an OC. Fan made Pokemon that you made all by yourself with no help and it has super realistic but kickass powers? Still. Not. An. OC.
IF ITS BASED OFF SOMETHING AND NOT A PART OF YOUR OWN FUCKING STORY
THEN ITS NOT AN OC. ITS AN FC. A. FAN. CHARACTER. Fan-made. If it's fan-made it's not an OC. Even if it's an AU it's still not an OC.
ORIGINAL CHARACTERS
SENPAINO
KOHNAIYES
YOU MAKE PLOT
NO AU
NO CROSSOVER
IT ORIGIANL CHARACTER
IF EVERYTHING IS MADE FROM YOU PLOT RELATIONSHIP CHracter THAT SHIT AND YOU HAVE -000000000.001% OF GETTING SUED DUE TO COPYRIGHt shit
tHEN ITS AN OC

NOW I HAVE EDUCATED YOU WITH MY KIND WORDS YOU USELESS DINKwads
GO ON AND WRITE
AND IF YOUR WRITING IS SHIITY
THEN
FUKKSKANSKXNS

ALSO
DONT MAKE A CHARACTER CUT JSUT BECAUSE THEY GET SAD THATs fucKING AWFUL I HAVE 2 SELFHARMING BUDDIES AND THEY ARE GENUINELY FUCKED UP
THEY HAVE TO AHVE REASON TO CUT
"OH no he gay*cut*(LOOKIN AT YOU MS. ROMANO X DEPRESSED READER FANFIC AUTHOR READER WASNT DEPRESSED SHE WAS Bejng BASIC BITCH why are the hot ones always gay NO NO NO CUT IF I WERE ROMANO I WOULDVE DROPPED THE BISH LIKE SHE WAS. HOT EVEN THOUGH SHES NOOTNOOT) dONT MAKE CHARACTER DO SLASHY ON WRIST
UNLESS THEY HAS GOOD REASON
"My parents genuinely hate me(and they aren't busy like they actually genuinely hate my guts would've killed me but lolno) And I'm bullied (like really bullied not just called names they beat me forcing me to watch Nash Grier's vines with that lollipop song by justin bibble and then shoved me off Mount Everest)
ahem
I'll be taking MYMOFRIFRACKING leave now.